Tissue Issues: My Friend Is Dragging Me Down. Is your heart constantly pounding from the stress, arguments, or that anxiety I just mentioned? Smoking and drinking! It works for me (I dont really have a hobby Im just at school all the time). I agree that perhaps she needs more than just medications and there are many wonderful approaches to therapy that could be beneficial to her but I guess that a big part of this will be convincing her that there could be something else out there for her. I tried to break up with her but,she couldnt let me ago, how cant she,shes been saying were drifting apart were nothing you dont care about me just stop it.and now shes depressed,or think she is, and Im the one getting all the thoughts all the sadness. Let her take the step and compliment her if she completes it. And it feels like a lot of responsibility was placed on me, to the point where Im always anxious and stressed and in a constant state of I dont know what to do, what to feel, how should I feel how should I do it. In her weekly column, JOAN LONG, a Bishopstown psychologist and psychotherapist, answers readers' queries. She shut me off completely and gave me halfhearted reply whenever I talk to her. Thanks for your testimony Ching. Its created a weird dynamic in our relationship which has all but ruined our sex life. Also over the years I have cancelled so many plans with friends to take time to help her that I have lost contact and have become depressed myself about my loneliness. Maybe your girlfriend finds talking to her friend, who also has the same kind of problem, helpful in some way. I tried hard to keep the relationship going, but I was alone in that battle. Recent events have dragged prices down. I have been with my girlfriend long distance for over a year now. "When youre stressed, your heart starts pumping blood faster through your veins to give you energy to deal with that perceived threat," said Marcelina Hardy on BettyConfidential.com. The more. thanks for everyone comments! I feel you. My girlfriend and me have been together 8 months, we havent had regular sex in a month. THAT IS PROVEN IN PSYCHOLOGY. I hear your talking and whispers, pale drawn out nails and fingers. I beat my depression, i became happy again but after a year with my gf and trying to care for her depression i can feel it creeping back again. i truely love her, she doesnt know if she loves me because she is so caught up with her shit. One Direction - Drag Me Down (Official Video)Follow on Spotify - https://1D.lnk.to/SpotifyListen on Apple Music - https://1D.lnk.to/AppleMusicListen on Amazo. It sounds like you have been a tremendous source of love, strength, and support for your girlfriend in her battle with depression. She can realize what she lost later and change then, or they can do something dramatic which will be out of your hand anyways. Some people need to just help themselves. somewhere inside you still know that too, its a natural instinct. I also feel now a little bit insecure, because in need he left me and I have impression that it might happen again if anything else bad happens. It drove me to breakdown myself. Prior to start Adobe Premiere Pro 2023 Free Download, ensure the availability of the below listed system specifications. https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. She doesnt get along with my family (or her own family for that matter) so cannot stay at my place (Im living with my family until I finish university). Her depression, anxiety, and friendship with her ex brings me down & she gets mad at me for it, saying Im not letting her be honest with herself because she get hurt when I tell her Im hurt. Im really hurt, I know Im losing her, I am starting to become, once again, insecure, isolated, anxious. Lately, Ive been becoming stronger, Ive finished my graduation, am starting to work by myself. I did it to myself kind of depression, but for the most part Im ok with myself and I strive to walk as much as I can and get out of the house or busy myself with crafts that has helped alot. Seems like a pattern, a thing to analyse better. First two years went well. First, if you are ever in crisis or are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, it is very important you seek help immediately. Im sick of having nothing in my life matter. Over the past year I dated someone that was unbalanced and going through a significant life transition. Hey, lately iv been feeling more and more distant from my gf. She wont tell me whats going on. I suggested he looked to sell the business and get another job to pay the mortgage on the shop so that if he sold it he would have some money did he no!! And this is where our problems come in. What you have to realise is that she didnt chose to become depressed so to have a partner in this situation is devastating, you cant be angry and leave her because shes done nothing wrong, she still loves you as much as you love her and I promise she feels a million times worse when she has an outburst than you do. Good looking, good healthy cooking. This often happens when too much stress causes hyperarousal, which can upset the balance between sleep and wakefulness, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Totally agree with your comment. To pull something or someone from a higher to a lower position: She dragged down the boxes from the attic. We r loving since 5-6 years! I am a fighter so that was my reaction. Ask yourself if you truly want to continue in the relationship. If you haven't been feeling like yourself lately, your romance may be to blame. His moods got worse, we have to do whatever he wants to do, I am too scared to loose him but Ive already lost myself, I dont recognise myself anymore I was once this girl who didnt need anyone, kept everything to herself, let medication deal with my emotions now I sit and cry myself to sleep and feel so hopeless. I would answer, I just want to feel free and safe. According to psychologist Salama Marine, your pattern could be emotionally draining if "you . Ive been going to therapy for 3 years and talking about my problems doesnt help me. As I read your comments I am beginning to understand what my boyfriend feels. Im worried that I put myself as his crutch unintentionally and that Im not helping him although he says I do. Even if you haven't done anything wrong, your partner has a way of making you feel bad. I am still the same guy I will never change, maybe certain little things like texting habits to accommodate her but I treat her with all the dignity I have. Being long-distance, you are actually BETTER OFF than if you were local! Therapy and meds nothing will work. Dont see how that would help at all f%cked either way, Your girlfriend needs help and support but so do you. Your love will develop as you both learn (with help) how to manage your feelings and youll both be closer having supported one another through this difficult process. Everyday is a battle. a) Conversation I really wish GoodTherapy.org would have some people, professionals or people who had past experiences in line with all the above comments and have them offer some advice and hope for everyone here. And also you have to be a little tough, let her know that you understand and love (you can tell her that simply in words, she might not notice that your actions are supposed to tell it, it is also difference between sexes) her but dont be the hero here. Its one thing to be committed to someone and another to keep trying only to see they themselves keep failing back into the same pattern. My girlfriend of 6 months began declining about a month ago. Those are the moments you should be focusing on, that is the person that youre in a relationship with. This then gives my anxiety about getting erectile dysfunction. i cant let her go and i know she cant let me go either. Breaking up is my last option but a considerable option because the fact that she is just not paying attention to me, everything is about her and her thoughts only. Nothing you can do to help. ago Welcome to r/dating_advice! There are groups out there for you as a caregiver who can help you through this too, and I think that if you found the right provider for her that could help develop the right treatment plan for her they would be willing to help you find a program that will match your needs too. They need to get better for them, not for you, and I know you didnt say that but thats real talk. All efforts made on my part were in vain. Im not sure I want to be married to someone thats been depressed all her life, its only gonna get worse. The medications side effect is sex blocking, also with her off alcohol her mind cant deal with emotions as other people, so basicly we had like 3 times sex this year. For the potential cheating part, dont worry about it. 3. its comforting to know that other couples go through the same things. (Not married) However, i was in a grade above her and graduated and proceeded to get a job so i could support our lives, this made texting hard as i had very early starts and it was very physically and mentally tiring work, however i still texted her as much as possible. Depression is a serious issue that is very difficult to understand. The envier. Good Luck Everyone. I dont have depression, I want to have fun and be happy. i fell as if i cant help her, im not good enough to make her happy although i try so hard and its making me doubt myself more and more. Im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 years of this abuse. Look man its getting to the point where youre gunna have to tell some form of authority, whether it be the police or something else either way, shes gunna bring you down if nothing changes and youll become just like her in a flash. I took on too much. I feel like a slave. That's because healthy relationships are pretty easily recognized, while bad ones are never, ever the same. I really hope that it is it. I am opinionated and very understanding. When I asked her what she thinks about the future, she said it wont be happiness and that it is impossible to be happy, and that she never imagine about our relationship anymore. "Healthy, happy relationships are where both partners meet each others' physical and emotional needs," says relationship etiquette expert Mara Opperman, in an interview with Bustle. I have a feeling I might just kill myself if this goes on. Im more bummed cause were not having as much sex as Id like. Your girlfriend loves you, but I think she is just a bit restless without you being there. I Feel Helpless! And Im thinking of ending with my partner since Ive been having break downs and ATM as I see it he doesnt love himself or respect himself and has put his whole worth onto me, through him saying Im the only reason hes still alive and somewhat happy. You can try running Text Recognition on the page (if it's not secured, and doesn't already have recognized text on that page), and if successful you'll be able to select and copy it. Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy. She has issues with everyone including mine and her family. Your girl might decide differently. I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. Should I just except it and appreciate the five minutes we talk a day? It bothers me a lot and Ive done all I could to understand. If you can be open about how you're feeling, it can still be possible to work on it together. I'm not sure how to begin so I guess I'll start from the beginning. Slowly Im staying more time at home. Two nights ago after a weekend of not really talking that much as she was very down and I was super busy with work, we spoke on the phone and she told me she needed to be alone and deal with this, because her depression was the worst its ever been. Dont worry youre not alone! We need ways to keep the flame and love alive. It is your life too. When I asked her if she wanted to go get some food, ice cream the mall,she said no for so many reasons. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! It is very sad when a very good man like me just happens to have very bad luck with women when i really shouldnt at all. Sign up and Get Listed. Nowadays, going to Youtube to watch movies and listen to music and entertainment is a daily necessity. But of course this isn't the case in an unhealthy relationship. Today she told me shes ditching all her meds and is just gonna do weed therapy. It is characterized by a dull pain accompanied by muscular tension in the neck area." Remember the love bit. The reason I feel it's dragging me down is that my girlfriend's mother has always been extremely disrespectful to me. I admit I got carried away with video games, I wasnt quick to the punch texting her back but Id always tell her where I am what Im up to so she would know and I would always give her an heartfelt lengthy reply. If so, you might get what's known as a tension headache from all the heated emotions. But she wouldnt want to talk some nights. I will continue to say these things, but it feels like I should be doing more.). Shes gone to therapy, but currently not going. I agree,lately all this summer my girlfriend has been constantly depressed because of her ex,her and her ex recently started talking as friends and he keeps hurting her and its bringing her mood down,and she tells me everything that happens. She will fight if you will let her fight, support this fight, but not be the one to fight for her. She did take medications she did try psychiatrist. But I really just wanted to Thank You for your post. I am essentially a caretaker now. Assistir Sheffield Utd X Tottenham - Ao Vivo Grtis HD sem travar, sem anncios. Best of luck to you on your journey. If, after years of treatment, she isnt getting any better, something probably needs to change. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! I dunno maybe thats just me. It's definitely the opposite of how you should feel, and it's definitely not good. this relationship is stressing both of us out and thats why she does not want to be in it. I found myself in a very similar situation. I dont know how much you have tried already, but why not try it? If you need them. To go cold turkey off 3 different anti depressants can someone die by doing that? We've been together for about a year now. Long distance, depressed girlfriend, university, feeling trapped, spending too much time and sacrificing too many things for the happiness of the other person in the relationship. Then she started talking that her family pressured her, about the meds and that she loved me, but had a really hard time. So tell someone, it wont just save her life, but also yours. A key sign of depression from relationships is low self-esteem because your partner puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself. Im in a LDR myself too although I have never met her IRL. There are so many ways a relationship can be unhealthy, and therefore so many ways it can drag you down. She is quiet, shy, passive/aggressive yet bubbly she would do anything and everything instantaneously for me, great girl! Im there for her and she knows it. We list further resources on this page:https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html, If you would like to get in touch with a therapist, you can search our directory for mental health professionals in your area: goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html. They take all the goodness from you and leave you with nothing but sadness and depression. And I was aware that there is so much wrong, that it is complicated, that I really cant explain it. Step down, itll make both of you happier long term. And before you know it has someone paying for half or all of her bills. I dont know if it is a good thing to avoid that, I am almost sure it isnt. The specific mention of medication but not therapy makes me wonder whether your girlfriend is in therapy. But, she didnt make an effort to talk about it so it seemed to have slipped by the way side. Shes my best friend, but I worry that shes not able to plan a life with me or be an equal partner in the relationship. A woman goes through a break up, she goes out, cries half the time and gets her drinks paid for all night and has her choice of a half a dozen guys fighting over her. I feel like my (26F) girlfriend (23F) is dragging me down I kind of feel like shit for even saying it. Your girlfriend should know that she has the right to be an active participant in her treatment plan and to discuss changes to this plan with her clinicians. Whatever the reason may be (unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, etc. If you have solution, you are God for me:(. but in the end in realtionships, its about being happy. That is why she will fail. I am trying to help her but I could not help anymore than this.i could not concentrate on caring myself, could not eat or sleep well. Hugs. And the woman that i am dating right now which i do hope that my relationship lasts with her since like i mentioned earlier i really do love her very much. She talks about it so much now that I dont even get shocked anymore. She felt distanced by me, but in no way did i feel any different toward her. I stopped seing my friends, I stopped trying to go out, everything was scaring me, literally, I was afraid that a plane will fall down on my home while I was sleeping, all the insane scenarios. She helped me so much, she made me become stronger, comprehensive, helped me leaving my addictions, I had so many precious moments with her, but now she doesnt seem to care about me at all, the more I try to help, to listen to her, the more she flees. She questioned our status, then says if we are a couple we should act like one (she is always busy and making plans with friends so I leave her be) which she doesnt like. It takes a huge amount of love to do that. I have told lies to her before because I think of telling the truth and thoughts of the reaction fill me with absolute dread. Next time you feel like this world is messed, go outside and try something new. Hi Greg, Please know there is hope, and help is available. I'm just not the same. "Usually, there is a lack of open and honest communication between the couple," say Opperman. Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. Somehow though, everyone seems to find a way to keep going and be happier and that can so be you! Its a selfish decision either way. Be found at the exact moment they are searching. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mountain Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext 3. That sounds like my issue too. Leave. My Girlfriends Depression Is Bringing Me Down. And it started to bring me down even more. If you feel insecure or anxious in your romantic relationship, it can really start to affect your health. Its only gon na do weed therapy characterized by a dull pain accompanied by muscular tension the. Cheating part, dont worry about it a lack of open and honest between. Of course this is n't the case in an unhealthy relationship but so do you even shocked. Yourself lately, your romance may be ( unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, etc isnt getting any,! 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